Always and Forever
by SpoiledLiLAmy
Summary: Max tells the story of how she lost the only guy she ever truely loved. Should be long with an extended TISSUE WARNING nearing the end. Max/Alec


TITLE: Always and Forever

CHAPTER: 1/?  A Thousand Miles

PAIRING: MAX/ALEC and very slight Max/other 

RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Not my characters

AN: This is my first real attempt at angst so lemme know if I suck

~~~

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time 

Would pass me by

Cause you know I'd

Walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you

Tonight

~A Thousand Miles~ Vanessa Carlton~

~~~

Max swirled the last mouthful of her drink around the bottom of her glass. She really had no clue what she was drinking, just that it burned going down and that was good. It had been a year. Exactly one year and the memories still replayed themselves nightly in vivid color and surround sound a vicious reminder what she had lost.

She looked over at a blonde couple sitting nearby. Laughing and flirting. She felt the strong urge to hurl the glass at them, shattering their picture perfect date along with the fragile material of the cup but she doubted that would go over well with the bar tender. He would hit on her incessantly but the second she started driving away customers she would be thrown out.

She finished the drink and motioned the bartender over indicating that she wanted another. She felt a brush of air as someone eased into the seat next to her.

"Go away Joel," she said, her voice soft but the tone hard.

"This is a public establishment Max," he replied, just as serious.

"I'm not in the mood for this," she said with a sigh, "I just want to wallow." Joel had been a one-night stand shortly after the incident and he refused to give up on her. She pushed away and he pushed back with equal force.

"Just give me a chance Max. I know what you are and I'm still interested. How many men can say that?" he pleaded grabbing her arm to make her face him, "We could be good together."

Max tugged her arm away staring at the man with what could only be described as distain, "I don't want to give us a chance. In fact I don't even want to look at you I just want to get drunk and go home and cry myself to sleep. Will you let me do that Joel?" 

"Why do you have such a pessimistic look at love?" he demanded taking hold of her hand once more.

"We are not in love. We slept together. Once. And yes I had fun but that's all it was. You were a distraction just tool to distract me from more important things." Max spat.

"What happened to you Max?" Joel asked. "Did you get burned at some point and now you're not willing to try again. What'd he do that turned you away from the male species? Cheat? Leave you?"

"No. There are three explanations you can choose from, A. I'm gay B. I'm thinking of becoming a nun or C. I just don't find you attractive," Max said ticking off each letter on her fingers, "Pick whichever one leaves you satisfied and leave me alone."

"You're lying to me Max," Joel purred, his green eyes burning into hers. Max shuddered remembering why she had slept with the guy in the first place. 

"What did he do to you?" he asked again.

"He died!" Max cried, her voice choked with emotion, "He went and died exactly one year ago tonight. Is that explanation enough for you Joel? I just want to be alone!" Joel sat back in his chair, Max's response having caught him by surprise. 

"What happened?" he asked softly.

"Do you really want to know? You just want to hear that we had the perfect relationship and he died with me sitting by his side holding his hand don't you. But that wasn't how it was! It was so much more complicated than that and you could never even begin to understand what we were."

"Tell me about him. Talking will help," he said, his tone soothing.

"Bullshit!" Max snapped, "I've talked and talked and talked and it hasn't done a damn thing!"

"Just tell me what he was like," Joel pleaded, "I want to know about this guy who was able to crack though your thick walls and take such a death grip on your heart. I want to know how he managed it." Max sat contemplating this for several seconds and nodded slowly, 

"He was gorgeous. Blonde hair, blue eyes, the works. He was a complete asshole most of the time with his cocky smile and smartass comments but that was part of his appeal. Some people say that opposites attract but that wasn't true in our case. We were like two halves of the same whole, two pieces of the same puzzle, one soul in two bodies. We fought constantly but it was all a game. We had fun, which was not the case with the rest of my boyfriends. He was Manticore too. X series like me." Max said her mind obviously miles away from her body, "He was just him and I loved him." Joel watched her, intrigued. 

"What was his name?" he probed.

"Alec," Max replied hollowly.

"Tell me the story Max," Joel said when he saw her resolve weakening. 

She rested her head on the bar and began to chew at a fingernail. "It started with a picture," she said with a small smile.

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TBC if u guys like it!!!!!!!!!! Reviews are my drug of choice.

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